Jokes

Jokes

 

The old lady's prayer

Prayer like telephone

Dogs and Hotel

Are You Depressed?

I was hurrying up for an early morning Mass at Christ the King Seminary Chapel when, from out of nowhere, a man suddenly approached me and asked;

“Excuse me, Sir, are you depressed?” I looked at him with a smile and answered: “No.”

The man insisted, “But you looked depressed.”

“Well,” I said, “I may have my share of problems but I am certainly not depressed!”

Then, I finally got it! The man was the driver sent by the Sisters to fetch the priest who would say Mass in their convent. And what he was asking all along was, “Are you t-h-e p-r-i-e-s-t?”

Compiled by Fr. Jerry M. Orbos, Logos publications, inc Manila, 1999

 

Christ the King

An old woman called me up one morning and said she wanted to visit me at Christ the King Seminary. I gave her instructions on how to find the place. I told her she can not miss it, because Christ the King comes right after St. Luke’s Hospital. She did not arrive that morning.

In the afternoon, I received another call from the same woman. She sounded tired and discouraged.

“Father Orbos, where is Christ the King? We already passed by St. Luke’s and we saw Burger King, then Tapa King, Goto King and then Chowking. But we couldn’t find Christ the King!”

I said, laughing, “Lola, don’t be discouraged. Just keep on walking and keep on seeking, and soon you will see Christ the King!”

Compiled by Fr. Jerry M. Orbos, Logos publications, inc Manila, 1999

The Atis 

Have you ever heard of the “atis therapy” for marriage?

One of the pieces of advice I give on weddings is for the groom to plant atis at the beginning of their married life. Why? Simple. Can someone talk while eating atis which has so many seeds?

So, when your wife starts talking too much and too long, just give her atis! It will work on husbands, too!

Compiled by Fr. Jerry M. Orbos, Logos publications, inc Manila, 1999

A Sweet Moment

Have you heard about a sugar milling central somewhere in Luzon where, surprisingly, there are no ants?

Well, the ants are all dead – because of diabetis!

Compiled by Fr. Jerry M. Orbos, Logos publications, inc Manila, 1999

LO-HE?

“Hello? Hello!”

No answer from the other end. “Hello! Hello!” Very faint answer. Hardly audible.

Thinking that the maid had the phone’s mouthpiece on her ears, the seńora instructed her to invert it, and the answer from the other end was “Lo-he? Lo-he?”

In desperation, the seńora shouted that the maid invert the telephone.

This time, the maid’s answer was “Phone-tele! Phone-tele!”

Compiled by Fr. Jerry M. Orbos, Logos publications, inc Manila, 1999

Jokes